Today, while I was riding, not long after I took off, I saw myself establishing myself, as a spiritual leader, as an ally of a political leader, & in true, enlightened fashion, we stood separate, though it would have been so easy to merge. And in that separation, there was magical essence that made for an alliance that produced the answers all seek.
I am trying not to see the bigotry in so many people right now. I was taken from my people a long time ago & accepted my soul's destiny in this life.
It is a self-consciousness that I have used to heal myself and other people. As a result of being lit on fire with other people's self-loathing, from the moment I was born, to the time I arrived on foreign soil as an acutely aware baby, to my time, in unknowing, in the oblivion of what most people call "the way it is," to my spiritual awakening in which my true nature and purpose was revealed to me through a non-stop series of experiences over the course of years, which led me to yoga, which led me to Modeling, Entertainment, which led me to L.A., though not arriving the same way that most people go there, which, subsequently led me to some of the only experiences I've had surrounded by other people whose ancestors are Korean, or Asian, in general. And it is as the soothsayers and the seers have said--that my life would have more to do with the ascension of the human family to know their nature in Love--and more so than others, perhaps, I would understand my demographic components as the rich tools specially crafted for the makings of a perfectly unfolding destiny, rather than anything else I would attempt to make of them.
It is humbling.
One of the hardest parts of knowing, seeing is other people's inability to self-correct when they see that you see, without trying, or can tell that you know, as if whatever they did that morning or the year before, maybe in childhood, isn't as hard or unpleasant for you to look at as it is for them.
Then, there R those who can see that you can also see the mystical, magical, dormant energies surrounding their purest, cleanest nature, stuffed down like a raging storm inside a single, White mother. Or a victim of racism over the course of an entire life, who has yet to strike a single blow--any of which could be considered legitmized self-defense, rather than naked violence--"just returning what you just tried giving me." Or a lie, repressed, because of a monumental desire to control God's reign on Earth, rather than become a clear conduit for it. They cling to you, if you let them, like a disease that just wants to do what diseases do, too, which is sustain themselves & try to win over healthy things.
I used to think it was kind of cool when people my age were bucking the system about following a spiritual tradition. I looked around, & by and large, they weren't doin' while I was coolin'. And then, the inevitable happened, which was chaos & a gradual deterioration of all things important to me, including my peace of mind, until something wanted back in--or, more accurately, wanted recognition again, on a regular basis, & that was my personal connection to Source.
And now I see people way younger than me doing the trashy things people used to get totally ostracized for in my hometown--& to my knowledge, none of them practice any kind of spiritually centering anything, even though they clearly have the design for it. And all the older adults who would've brought down the heavy judgements that kept everyone in line, aren't saying or putting down anything, as if that's at all healing or aligning anyone.
I don't want to become them, probably because I couldn't, but I definitely would say, "Hey, do you realize you look like _______ Trash?" And maybe wear a bowtie and some smiley face stickers on your heart chakra while saying it. And, you see, the only way it's immediately & eternally impactful, into their souls, is if you aren't doing it, too, & are clearly better than they are, even, & especially, being older & alive on the planet, or forseeably ever could be.
Older people, too. They come out of unconsciousness, shedding their spouse, their kids, their values, & everything familiar, but rather than use the newfound freedom to dig deeper & improve their own quality as a human being in every way, they either fall into depression or break all the rules that make even the younger kids shake their heads in disgust.
I had this old(er) White dude follow me around a place where I went to grab a bite to eat the other day. He, I think, purposefully sat down at the table right ahead of mine, facing me, & was staring at me the entire time, pulling at my chi, expecting for reasons completely unfigureoutable to me that I'd return his attention. At all. Instead of puking, which is what I wanted to do the entire time. He was old. And White without being cool. And revolting, mainly in his energy. And like so many older White people today, especially in restaurants, I want to say, "Didn't your White mother tell you, like all the other good, White mothers, when you were approximately 4 or 5, not to stare at people for every reason under the sun?" Mine did. And she never had to, either, to be frank. Becuz I'm not revolting, as you clearly are now, even at 55 or 65.
And then I wonder if they're staring because they believe it's o-kay because I'm inferior because of something else. And then it occurs to me that, especially here in Arizona where, you know, kicking someone's a** seems to be a way of life, I wonder what the rules are--R they staring because, by all means, by now I should've already kicked their a** for being such a blatant, pathetic disgrace?
I mean, I've had little kids, old people, middle-aged people, all races, all nationalities, all situations, do weird stuff to &/or around me, & then have them come up before it got weird & say something, even if it was, "You know, my wife & I just think you are really beautiful."
But now? There's no relief. No explanations. Just weirdos.
The best in this society need to be the leaders and the teachers again. The jobs that we create need to be about what's in the best interest of the conscious evolution of humanity. Conscious means "I'm aware, I know I'm aware, & I'm choosing." We will find conscious evolution in what brings people joy, health, and requires that they become better & better conduits for Spirit, for universal love--brighter, purer, & more agile human beings.
Human error starts becoming virtually eliminated. Flight becomes something that again takes place in the mind. Hearts R safe to be wide open, without the burden of shadows, & instead of literally bursting. And a single human thought or intention becomes as pristine, clear a thing again as if the Renaissance had just become placed, emergency room-style, in a time and space when all hope was lost--for those who were still sane and connected to life.
No one prepared me for Unemployment, legalized discrimination by vampires against the Light, or taught me if or when it wouldn't be an admonishment to take a minimum wage job requiring only a high school education when I was graduating Summa Cum Laude from one of the best Business Schools in the country.
I came out of school claiming that I wanted to single-handedly change Corporate America so that it would operate in perfect excellence, in every regard, starting with its adherence to morals. Why? Because I saw it in my mind, & nothing I saw refused to come true. And yet, I had never been so dunked in wrong before, on all sides, so that I would go so far as to use the word "evil," including to my back, where people who were supposed to care about me were supposed to be. Forever.
In the spaces and distance and dimension of time and space called "becoming an adult," for those who desire a pure heart, a pure and clear mind, an open mind, and the truth, U are able to see what, perhaps, no God-loving person would ask for, which is to see just that--the truth--oftentimes the web of entanglement of "good" and "not-so-good" connection in all of our "loving" relationships.
Things people have thought about you. For years. Or things they've said. Vindictively. Behind your back. When you've always been honest with them and can't imagine wasting the time or energy spinning those webs in their regard. Why?
To me, this is the level of expectation, ability, and current achievement of the United States of American householder, or those who choose the path of making babies, making money, and dying in a very subpar kind of way. And the first indication that this is the case is in the most vile, & unabashed amongst them, who would try to beat you over the head, somehow, for "thinking you're so perfect," (implying that you're not), as if it's not crystal clear that you are--and by your choice and effort--whereas their choices and efforts take them on a roller coaster of trashy repute on a daily basis. At least be honest about it, & unabashed about THAT, AND the fact that U only became ashamed, embarrassed, and full of hatred when someone showed up who was, by her virtue, all the things U were not, making you realize you were. And it became exponentially hard to swallow that she was a minority, and a "she." Even though you are, too. And a true yogi, which makes it easier to become the aforementioned disease, not a healer since, in that moment, you are already overwhelmed by all these positive things about her you don't understand, & have to take to leachiness, thereby exposing your own ugliness, age-old, hereditary ignorance you haven't put down like the family dog who was blind, heaving instead of swallowing, & walking with a limp that even made your father cry.
Please, out of any sense of honor left in you, don't come running to me after you've done battle with me, on these levels, and have immediately gone away crippled by your own ignorance, & that low level alone, when Source comes for your soul, too, and like Alice, all becomes Wonderland, & the only home you have left is you.