I stay away from men, and sexual pleasure, because especially pertaining to a Korean man, it would open a direct portal to my still-missing mother and my lost country, which I still grieve in an every-10-years, involuntary sob, when it breaks through the corruption and required, whether I like it or not, warriorness of everyday life in the U.S., taking over my consciousness as front and center.
Look what a pure, unfettered heart and strength in integrity will do, without 10's of 1000's of $'s in questionable therapy, at best, if allowed to Lead.
I need to find my mom.