As time passes, I notice that I've left the warnings of adults twice my age behind, filling my just-exploding-into-being-on-my-own-ears with mistakes they'd made, or ways that they couldn't see a way around whore'ing themselves, & so they sold their soul, maybe multiple times, probably in many ways.
The crime against humanity is, or wasn't, just that they did. It's that they would wish it upon someone who they could clearly see had as good a chance as anyone at not falling into the same traps, if the opportunities presented themselves. The double crime is to run after that being with some final daggers, years down the road, as though said being can't feel that it is you & would not have the right--now on more than 1 count--to wish you exterminated.
The crime is that this is far too common an experience in people who childbear. Pretty soon, who isn't buying into the most insidious crap? It's traded like cards in Poker. It becomes ingrained, almost made solid, rather than thought or belief-like, like raindrops frozen by human will into piercing, pointed icicles, hung in mid-air, so that walking outside becomes like being in frozen hell, & everyone but the awake R calling it normalcy.
I'm being prohibited from entering any "real" path of being part of the world again, at this point, oftentimes explained to me by silence, broken promises, & minds that can't hold a positive thought once I'm off the phone with them or out of their sight.
This goes back, from what I see, to the Native American overtaking through lies, deception, straight-up corruption, & Godlessness--the deepest kind of irreverence & racial/cultural ignorance & fear.
This world, oftentimes, pervasively, is a series of takeovers, so it's not that this one was much different than any other one people wanting or taking another people's s**t.
This was different, though, in that the peoples who inhabited the lands now called the "United States of America" were far more enlightened, or spiritually centered in their existence than those who took them over. Obviously. To the high heavens, a special grief exists in special cases like this. Especially for those who know the karma that will come of such mass crime. It is not worth mentioning. It is what it is.
Consider, however, that a truly spiritual people cannot disconnect themselves from the care & wisdom of everything biological, including the Earth, the sky, & the energies that affect the planet, creating the spiritual experience of the people.
Thus, when the Earth is danced upon by such people, who are almost like orbs of Light creating gladness upon her skin, any feeling, thinking person can sense what might be upon the (most dishonorable, darkest adjective) people who have so chosen, as an all-over energetic charge, & all who come after them who have failed to correct the blood that has never come clean, of their own people's doing. And yet, the United States of America, in particular, is known for complete lostness & disconnection from any kind of roots, as people disenfranchise themselves in order to get that much closer to an identity now proving itself, like never be4, to be a tangent of destiny, where leadership on Planet Earth was or is concerned. And it shows. Pleading ignorance in every direction. How can I be held responsible for slavery, for concentration camps on United States of American soil, for the rape, mutilation, murder, & penning up-like-wild animals of mystics, holymen, oracles, & the bravest warriors, culture aside, when I don't even know, to be honest, where my Grandma came from, because I'm defined by my inability to get her, then blame her for it, then look to my porn collection & my facebook page & my constant stream of texts while driving, then almost hit some hot, clear, calm, & present guy on his motorcycle because--"Why can't they get a fricking car!?!? God. Those things R so dangerous."
I'm tired of Native Americans being wary.
I'm sick about feeling like I've been around this country for years, feeling like I'm searching 4 people, movement, & energies that R as natural & peaceful & rapturous as anything that has ever existed, & they're not there.
I can't imagine what it might feel like to dance ceremonially with my feet pulsating the Earth in complete & total rhythmic Oneness, like love-making to the mountains & streams & grasses & my entire history via every cell on the bottom of my feet to the ends of the hair on my head. Or to chill out around a fire with a Chief in full headdress & regalia who makes me feel safe just by being in his humbling presence, instead of the toxic, noxious ways of life that have come after for people of all ages.
Or to learn how to heal a soul--not a body part--& watch demons & disease leave a body from a shamaness.
Or watch a herd of buffalo thunder past, like lightning, like dancing beasts of endless prairie, that feed me, my tribe--body, Mind, soul.
That which was inspired & established as a most special, potential land of Light has had well over 150 years to prove itself. In many ways, that's literally nothing.
I was bought and sold. Literally. And I've watched, since leaving the angelic, almost otherworldly, aura I left college with, as the world around me seems to become less and less everything, the longer I walk, even when I sit to watch, & how easy it is 4 people to cast stones.
I've seen rootless people stand in Christian triumph, insinuating that we are a "Christian" nation, in clear bigotry, ignorance, & not-even-walking-it-themselvesness. As a dedicated, devout Roman Catholic of more than 20 years, I have to say that I've never met a Christian who trumped the solidity of the Catholic religion, in terms of depth & discipline, despite their recent issues. And, as someone who has left that practice but leaving no stone unturned in my loyalty & reverence 4 that part of my life, who now stands in the truth of my connection to Source, which is truly my own, I say that I have yet to become aware of any part of our country's supposed "Christianity"-ruled history that shows where it wasn't as flawed & lacking spirituality as anything corrupt in existence. Especially in international relations.
And that goes back to the Native Americans. And every other person of true interest in the destiny of the special, potential land of Light established on this continent. We were never meant to be a melting pot. We were meant to be a union that would win the Game between humans & God--the most complex kind--in which all these random peoples of every single expression would come together, try to live as neighbors, & choose to illuminate themselves by honoring in all directions, especially within. In doing so, it would become a spiritual infrastructure to facilitate the only true growth that exists, & any trade, bartering, or exchange would be to facilitate these enlightened goals. For one person to be starving while the next is insane, disconnected, on crack/cocaine, & has a stockpile of money in various places bigger than Mt.Everest is out of alignment with the reason we all exist.
Those who cannot feel the suffering of their own race--the human one--or of the Earth, or of Spiritual Law being broken into shards in a million places so they can have their daily Starbucks & run to their Benz R causing global warming, earthquakes, flooding, & the rage of an Earth Mother who does not know emotion but raw feeling & response that does not have the capability or luxury of interpretation.
She feels your disease, how you harm yourself, how you ignore it & call it progress, & how you continue to masturbate off the disintegration of the only sacred peoples or things that have ever existed around you. How you'll use any energy that you can get your hands on to further your out-of-God/human-alignment-intentions, like cannibals feeding off the already-abused, then maniacally dousing yourself in wine because, by all good measure, you are already drunk on human blood & then barely notice that Hollywood keeps putting out more films & TV shows on vampires.
Give the Native Americans back much of the land. And only if they need you, will you return to help them since they are beyond bruised, beaten, & broken. Why don't you start with the states that make this Union look the most like a raucous joke--that have never been able to really find stability or viability--at least recently. It's because your people don't BELONG there. Don't you get it? Their skin's not made for it, nor their perception of beauty, & they have not found peace.
And all of us who were brought to this land for reasons not of our choosing, other than to be used like Duracells, how 'bout we create a law that says we ALL get 1 free roundtrip ticket that can be made one-way, if we generally like where we came from better. I just hope you don't wonder where all the "good vibe" goes since you spent most of our lives taking advantage of our talent & amazingness while we were here & thanking us by discriminating against us, stripping us of our real names, & projecting all of your ugliness onto us. Gee. There will be no one to do that to after some of us R gone. Looks like you'll be ugly & alone together. Hope you're happy, even without us around to be sad.
And while some of the descendents of slaves & all the international, interracial adoptees flee the country (the ones who decide they R actually at 110% as Koh, Jin Hee, rather than, say, "Amy Schmelzer," especially as the walk into adulthood continues, as mentioned above), as well as immigrants who came over sold on the word-of-mouth that this was supposed to be the hypest country on the planet & realize it's a complete sham--a spiritually diseased, disjointed place of misplaced focus & positive PR to the rest of the world, is-about-to-self-combust-because-of-its-corruption-from-its-beginnings-but-let's-blame-it-on-the-business-world in 2011.
While that's going on, there might actually be leaders who can effectively put their foot down on people who are here without being citizens or anything legitimate. It's not that big of a deal, but NO, it's illegal, so get the f out. And nothing against you, but when you've got a better plan than let's-hide-in-some-undercarriage-&-sneak-like-a-fricking-2-year-old into (one of) the most civilized countries in the world (As you can see, there's a long way to go, y'all), we'll welcome you with open arms.
But you won't get to meet so-and-so when U finally arrive cuz she gave up hope when, after being stuck out in the Recession for an ungodly amount of time & watched all the "good" people she used to know show their true colors when their fear & routine & lust for their material addictions & lies became more important than her life, & the Fortune 500 company never called her back, & then she found out they were being busted in multiple states for masses of citizens from other countries being given a nametag that said "General Manager" because they formed a clique--I hated cliques, even in high school--& were given, like, $45,000/yr. salaries to do a job she had the ability to do after sophomore year in high school, much less college, & she watched as all the White people whose kids they don't speak to now actually hire these people--they all smoke dope, & not for medical purposes, do nothing of real outstandingness in any part of their lives, but they're good at being soul prostitutes, then blaming it on their parents--they don't hire the one U won't meet, even for fun, because her inner authority just asks EVERYBODY to take a step back & see what's being created & how it's become the "American way."
And she stood up for all a y'all when she wore her Catholic girl skirt on the playground like you were her own brother--Black, Purple, Red, Yellow, & Brown, Gay, Dorky White Kid Who Almost Got Beat Up, the Left-Handed. Like a stick figure, fighting monk warrior chick with a loud enough voice to scare ALL the bullies away--even with a bow in her hair. But no one cares about being a REAL American minority who's earned his or her proud stripes in this society by being AMERICAN--by being pounded out like metal into a sword with an ornate scabbard until you can fight your own battles & win because this is now your home, too. Or that all these new minorities coming over to fill the current soul void of those in power don't care about because they can play White person & get any other role-playing ability for any other Color they need from facebook & LinkedIn.
Martin Luther King, Jr., who? I'm here to rape the Earth, just like all the other souls who seem drawn to this place cuz that's what they do here.
We won't say "no" to illegal immigration in everyday life, but we will allow our repressed anger to build up into a hate group who'll go down to the border & try to "do it themselves" & start shooting people up for the pure, White race! After all, the people who actually really feel that way would never want to do it. They'll psychically push it onto dumb, White, younger people who have less to lose. I'm too busy playing with my dog, Buster, who I have a relationship with that borderlines crazy because I'm so unnatural I can't even feel my hand while I'm reaching down to pet Buster--Buster & my morning paper. Not my wife. She's in the kitchen with a waxy expression plastered on her face from years of my looking at her one way, thinking she's all varieties of things that would hurt her feelings if she knew I thought them, but I want to go down on the girl next door. Just the thought of that keeps me quiet & keeps us together.
And now, I'm gonna get REALLY upset about this because Freedom of Speech--especially the really intelligent, wise kind from kids who were raised in our schools & went to our churches & are stuck out in the Recession & made money for our athletic departments--because mind control started replacing that a while ago. That, &/or Hollywood. So unless you're striving to feed our downward spiraling expectations & wealth that has never worked for everyone on this planet, we're gonna leave you out in the cold 'til one of these prophecies comes true about the world ending. And if you're not a rack of bones by then, maybe we'll wipe the drool off your face & ask you what the heck U were talking about in 2002.
Bring it.
I dare you.
Or bring back the Truth.
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